Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
