How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
