I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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