I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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