My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
