just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
