Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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