There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
