i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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