k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
