i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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