I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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