its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
