we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
