For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
