Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
