we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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