What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
