; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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