Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
