so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
