I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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