Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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