I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
