She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
