Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
