and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
