you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
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