Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
