I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
