He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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