i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
