Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
