the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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