I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
