Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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