At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So much rum. So many feels.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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