he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
