we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
