Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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