Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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