Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
