My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
