I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize