how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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