Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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