Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
