I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
