it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize