did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
