I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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