Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
