It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
