what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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