Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
