well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
