So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
