she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
