Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
