nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
