Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
