one two three fourrrrnication!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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