Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
