hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
