all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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