just survived the first fart of the relationship.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
