you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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