Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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