Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
