my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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